微信朋友圈笑话全文

Ⅰ 微信朋友圈里分享的笑话，急求！

请采纳我的问题1、一个女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的订婚戒指，但竟没有一个同学注意到，令她忿忿不平。到下午大家坐着谈天的时候，她突然站起来大声说：“哎呀，这里真热呀，我看我还是把戒指脱下来吧。”2、女主人把女佣叫到面前问她：“你是否怀孕了？”“是啊！”女佣回道。“亏你还说得出口，你还没有结婚，难道不觉得害羞吗？”女主人再次训。“我为什么要害羞，女主人你自己不也怀孕了吗？”“可是我怀的是我丈夫的！”女主人生气地反驳。“我也是啊！”女佣高兴地附和。3、一个人骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服，就是把口子在后面扣上，可以挡风。一天他酒后驾驶， 翻了，一头栽在路旁。警察赶到：警察甲：好严重的车祸。警察乙：是啊，脑袋都撞到后面去了。警察甲：嗯，还有呼吸，我们帮他把头转回来吧。警察乙：好.....一、二使劲，转回来了。警察甲：嗯，没有呼吸了.......4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上，因为时常发生车祸，所以常常有一些鬼故事发生，有一天晚上，有一个出租车司机看见路边有一个长发披肩，身着白衣的女人向他招手，因为这个司机没有见过鬼，所以大胆的停下来让她上车了，这一路上,司机虽然不信有鬼，心里也毛毛的，所以时常从后视镜看后面的女人，开着开着，突然司机发现那个女人不见了！司机吓了一大跳，赶紧踩了一个刹车！只见那个女人满脸是血，表情狰狞。司机吓的牙直打颤。突然那女人开口了：“你会不会开车啊！我低头系个鞋带你突然一刹车我把鼻子都撞破了……”5、一个病人去看病，医生检查了他，皱着眉头说：“您病得太严重了，恐怕不会活多久了。” 病人：“求您告诉我我还能活多久？” 医生：“十……” 病人着急地问：“十什么？十年？？十个月？？？十天？？？？？” 医生：“十，九，八，七，六，五……”6、老师：“你能说一些18世纪科学家共同特点吗？”学生：“能，他们都死了。”7、犀粪蜣和蚊子谈恋爱，蜣问蚊子是做什么工作的，蚊子说：“护士，打针的。”蜣一拍大腿：“缘分呐，我是中药局搓药丸的…”8、一非洲人住在某一宾馆。夜半，起火，不明原因。非洲人见状顾不了那么许多，光着身子就跑出去了。消防员见状惊呼：“我的妈呀！都烧的糊了吧区的了还能跑那么快！”9、一个人想出国考察，但必须得到老总批准。于是他向老总请示，老总给了他一张字条，上面写着：“Go ahead”。 那人想：“Go ahead=前进，老总是批准了。”于是他开始打点行李。 一个同事见到了他问：“你在做什啊？？”他说：“我准备出国考察，老总批准了，给我写了‘Go ahead’。” 同事一见条就乐了：“咱们老总根本就没批准！！咱老总的英语水平你还不知道，他这是在说去个头！”10、牧师对买了他马和马车的农夫说：“这匹马只能听懂教会的语言，叫"感谢上帝"它就跑;叫"赞美上帝"它才停下。”农夫将信将疑，他试着喊了一声感谢上帝，那匹马立刻飞奔起来，越跑越快。一只跑到悬崖边上惊恐的农夫才想起让它停下来的口令“赞美上帝”。果然，马停下来了。死里逃生的农夫长出一口气：“感谢上帝………”我打了很久，请采纳1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\"I played for a long time, please

Ⅱ 微信朋友圈里怎么发要展开全文的段子

打开朋友圈，长按右上角的照相机图案，打开编辑页面，然后输入文字。最后一句与上文之间多加空格就行。

Ⅲ 微信里点击全文的笑话该怎么发

1.长按朋友圈右上角小相机，它会跳出只发文字的框；
2.输入文字；
3.换行 （十行左右）
但是每一行都要有个空格；
4.再输入文字；
5.发送即可。

Ⅳ 微信朋友圈文字笑话短句来自哪里啊

7、人倒霉都是喊杯具，我倒霉就喊碗柜，里面摆满了杯具和餐具！！

8、有钱的人没才，有才的人没钱。经过多年的艰苦奋斗，我在两者之间找到了统一；我既没钱也没才。

9、乌龟受伤了，找好朋友蜗牛去买药。过了2个小时，蜗牛还没回来。乌龟急了骂道：“这小子再不回来老子就死了！”这时门外传来了蜗牛的声音：“你再说老子不去了！”

Ⅳ 微信朋友圈怎么发送需要点击全文的段子我打了空格也不行。

微信朋友圈怎么发送需要点击全文的段子，可以通过以下操作实现：

1、在朋友圈发消息界面将你想要发送的段子打好，未必一定是两句话，但最好精辟，这样才有效果。将要隐藏在点击全文后才能看到的话单独一行显示。

Ⅵ 微信朋友圈里怎么发要展开全文的段子

1、在朋友圈发消息界面将你想要发送的段子打好，未必一定是两句话，但最好精辟，这样才有效果。将要隐藏在点击全文后才能看到的话单独一行显示。

Ⅶ 朋友圈那种点开全文的笑话怎么发

朋友圈右上角那个按钮长按进入文字版朋友圈编辑界面，直接复制粘贴段子就可以了。
如果不放心可以多输入几行空格，或者先发条只对自己可见，编辑调试完效果后在发条对多人可见的朋友圈。

Ⅷ 求微信朋友圈点全文的一句话段子

我很怕小街道上那些做爆米花的…

因为它Boom的一声我就会Sha Ka La Ka
Boom Boom Boom的三声 我就会咖喱给给

Ⅸ 急求微信朋友圈里分享的笑话！冷笑话就别回了！谢谢！

一天，在家休息。

电话响了。

喂？

我们已经绑架了你的岳母，3天拿不出50万，就等着撕票吧！！

哦？真的？

哇哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈我擦太棒啦~~~求之不得啊~~~！！！！

别高兴得太早，如果你今晚12点还不交出赎金，。。。。。。。我们。。。。。

就把她送回去~~~~

次奥，你够狠！！！！！！！

Ⅹ 有没有微信朋友圈搞笑的段子就是前面讲的很好点开全文很搞笑

今天去女同事家帮她修电脑，电脑中病毒了。我问她平时用电脑都干嘛？她说也没什么，就是老爱看电影。中午时候修好了，她非要请我吃饭，我说不如就在家里做吧，省钱。她说那好吧，家里有，黄瓜，胡萝卜，茄子，丝瓜，你喜欢吃什么菜？。我凌乱了:不好意思，今天还有个重要的事，我先走了...