微信朋友圈笑話全文

Ⅰ 微信朋友圈里分享的笑話，急求！

請採納我的問題1、一個女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的訂婚戒指，但竟沒有一個同學注意到，令她忿忿不平。到下午大家坐著談天的時候，她突然站起來大聲說：「哎呀，這里真熱呀，我看我還是把戒指脫下來吧。」2、女主人把女傭叫到面前問她：「你是否懷孕了？」「是啊！」女傭回道。「虧你還說得出口，你還沒有結婚，難道不覺得害羞嗎？」女主人再次訓。「我為什麼要害羞，女主人你自己不也懷孕了嗎？」「可是我懷的是我丈夫的！」女主人生氣地反駁。「我也是啊！」女傭高興地附和。3、一個人騎摩托車喜歡反穿衣服，就是把口子在後面扣上，可以擋風。一天他酒後駕駛， 翻了，一頭栽在路旁。警察趕到：警察甲：好嚴重的車禍。警察乙：是啊，腦袋都撞到後面去了。警察甲：嗯，還有呼吸，我們幫他把頭轉回來吧。警察乙：好.....一、二使勁，轉回來了。警察甲：嗯，沒有呼吸了.......4、在一條七拐八拐的鄉村公路上，因為時常發生車禍，所以常常有一些鬼故事發生，有一天晚上，有一個計程車司機看見路邊有一個長發披肩，身著白衣的女人向他招手，因為這個司機沒有見過鬼，所以大膽的停下來讓她上車了，這一路上,司機雖然不信有鬼，心裡也毛毛的，所以時常從後視鏡看後面的女人，開著開著，突然司機發現那個女人不見了！司機嚇了一大跳，趕緊踩了一個剎車！只見那個女人滿臉是血，表情猙獰。司機嚇的牙直打顫。突然那女人開口了：「你會不會開車啊！我低頭系個鞋帶你突然一剎車我把鼻子都撞破了……」5、一個病人去看病，醫生檢查了他，皺著眉頭說：「您病得太嚴重了，恐怕不會活多久了。」 病人：「求您告訴我我還能活多久？」 醫生：「十……」 病人著急地問：「十什麼？十年？？十個月？？？十天？？？？？」 醫生：「十，九，八，七，六，五……」6、老師：「你能說一些18世紀科學家共同特點嗎？」學生：「能，他們都死了。」7、犀糞蜣和蚊子談戀愛，蜣問蚊子是做什麼工作的，蚊子說：「護士，打針的。」蜣一拍大腿：「緣分吶，我是中葯局搓葯丸的…」8、一非洲人住在某一賓館。夜半，起火，不明原因。非洲人見狀顧不了那麼許多，光著身子就跑出去了。消防員見狀驚呼：「我的媽呀！都燒的糊了吧區的了還能跑那麼快！」9、一個人想出國考察，但必須得到老總批准。於是他向老總請示，老總給了他一張字條，上面寫著：「Go ahead」。 那人想：「Go ahead=前進，老總是批准了。」於是他開始打點行李。 一個同事見到了他問：「你在做什啊？？」他說：「我准備出國考察，老總批准了，給我寫了『Go ahead』。」 同事一見條就樂了：「咱們老總根本就沒批准！！咱老總的英語水平你還不知道，他這是在說去個頭！」10、牧師對買了他馬和馬車的農夫說：「這匹馬只能聽懂教會的語言，叫"感謝上帝"它就跑;叫"贊美上帝"它才停下。」農夫將信將疑，他試著喊了一聲感謝上帝，那匹馬立刻飛奔起來，越跑越快。一隻跑到懸崖邊上驚恐的農夫才想起讓它停下來的口令「贊美上帝」。果然，馬停下來了。死裡逃生的農夫長出一口氣：「感謝上帝………」我打了很久，請採納1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\"I played for a long time, please

Ⅱ 微信朋友圈裡怎麼發要展開全文的段子

打開朋友圈，長按右上角的照相機圖案，打開編輯頁面，然後輸入文字。最後一句與上文之間多加空格就行。

Ⅲ 微信里點擊全文的笑話該怎麼發

1.長按朋友圈右上角小相機，它會跳出只發文字的框；
2.輸入文字；
3.換行 （十行左右）
但是每一行都要有個空格；
4.再輸入文字；
5.發送即可。

Ⅳ 微信朋友圈文字笑話短句來自哪裡啊

7、人倒霉都是喊杯具，我倒霉就喊碗櫃，裡面擺滿了杯具和餐具！！

8、有錢的人沒才，有才的人沒錢。經過多年的艱苦奮斗，我在兩者之間找到了統一；我既沒錢也沒才。

9、烏龜受傷了，找好朋友蝸牛去買葯。過了2個小時，蝸牛還沒回來。烏龜急了罵道：「這小子再不回來老子就死了！」這時門外傳來了蝸牛的聲音：「你再說老子不去了！」

Ⅳ 微信朋友圈怎麼發送需要點擊全文的段子我打了空格也不行。

微信朋友圈怎麼發送需要點擊全文的段子，可以通過以下操作實現：

1、在朋友圈發消息界面將你想要發送的段子打好，未必一定是兩句話，但最好精闢，這樣才有效果。將要隱藏在點擊全文後才能看到的話單獨一行顯示。

Ⅵ 微信朋友圈裡怎麼發要展開全文的段子

1、在朋友圈發消息界面將你想要發送的段子打好，未必一定是兩句話，但最好精闢，這樣才有效果。將要隱藏在點擊全文後才能看到的話單獨一行顯示。

Ⅶ 朋友圈那種點開全文的笑話怎麼發

朋友圈右上角那個按鈕長按進入文字版朋友圈編輯界面，直接復制粘貼段子就可以了。
如果不放心可以多輸入幾行空格，或者先發條只對自己可見，編輯調試完效果後在發條對多人可見的朋友圈。

Ⅷ 求微信朋友圈點全文的一句話段子

我很怕小街道上那些做爆米花的…

因為它Boom的一聲我就會Sha Ka La Ka
Boom Boom Boom的三聲 我就會咖喱給給

Ⅸ 急求微信朋友圈裡分享的笑話！冷笑話就別回了！謝謝！

一天，在家休息。

電話響了。

喂？

我們已經綁架了你的岳母，3天拿不出50萬，就等著撕票吧！！

哦？真的？

哇哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈我擦太棒啦~~~求之不得啊~~~！！！！

別高興得太早，如果你今晚12點還不交出贖金，。。。。。。。我們。。。。。

就把她送回去~~~~

次奧，你夠狠！！！！！！！

Ⅹ 有沒有微信朋友圈搞笑的段子就是前面講的很好點開全文很搞笑

今天去女同事家幫她修電腦，電腦中病毒了。我問她平時用電腦都幹嘛？她說也沒什麼，就是老愛看電影。中午時候修好了，她非要請我吃飯，我說不如就在家裡做吧，省錢。她說那好吧，家裡有，黃瓜，胡蘿卜，茄子，絲瓜，你喜歡吃什麼菜？。我凌亂了:不好意思，今天還有個重要的事，我先走了...